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What's the best way to seek forgiveness?
Okay, this is a long ass story. But it all started last year, I was a freshman and I was 'in love' for the first time, well that didn't work out at all. He cheated and was an emotionally stoic and generally not a good person. But after he decided we needed a 'break' AKA he didn't have the balls to dump me, my mother (drug-addict slut bitch) filed a restraining order on my stepdad, the man who raised my twin sister and I since we were 10, because he knew my mom was incapable of raising us, and I am now 16. Anyway, she claimed that he hit her and he was molesting me and jess (my sister) which was bullshit (he's just a skinny version of stephen king, who wouldn't hurt a fly) so we were forced to live with my father since my mom didn't want to take care of us either. She even took the keys to all 13 of my stepdad's restored corvettes, which are like his children. And before this happened, and after the 'break' with my ex, I started a relationship with a long-time friend of mine, who is a better person in every way, shape or form. I didn't want to live with my father, me and him have never had a relationship, and he is an abusive person (and I'm not going into detail on what he's done to me. Keep in mind, he only targetted me, and not my sister). So i decided to take up my friend's offer, and
I left. Me and him traveled to Eugene oregon, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted, but I still worried about Jess, but i knew she would be safe, and didn't have to be on the streets like myself. I was still guilty for leaving her (before then the longest we had ever been seperated was 4 days). After 3 weeks, and due to unfortunate circumstances, I came back and without my boyfriend. I stayed with my grandma while he was in juvie, and then was shipped to my dad's. My boyfriend got out, but was forced into a shelter, he grew up in group homes/foster care so he was used to it, but he wanted to see me. I was worried sick, but I got to see my sister again for a few days, and she was unhappy over having to live without our stepdad until august but she was glad to see me. I was going to school still, and my friends were worried but things were okay then. I got to visit my boyfriend in seattle once a week, or more and he got to meet my grandma and my sister.
After he left the shelter, we came to my dad's and i decided to leave once more, it was one of the hardest things I had to do, seeing my sister beg me not to go. We then left to spokane. That part was awful. I was gone for months, on the streets. We went to olympia after that and i met his family. I got accused of stealing from his mother, which i did not, and was forced to leave. I came back to my stepdad with my sister. I should have been happy, but i was worried for Leo (boyfriend).
My friends were still there, even though they hadn't tried to stay in touch with me. Leo then came back from olympia and we were on the streets in auburn (where i went to school , and where my stepdad lived). It's months later, and we are now staying with a friend. My sister gets along with me a little more now, but is still resentfull of me. I do not blame her for this, but I do wish to let her know that I am sorry for leaving her, but i still love her. She critizes everything i do, including getting a GED instead of going to regular school. I have only two friend, one in florida and one in federal way. The other three have deleted me from facebook and haven't talked to me since. I have no idea why, i'm assuming it's because they think I'm an idiot like most do. But I do want them to forgive me. I am just trying to make things better. I plan on getting a job, my GED, and then our own place.
But i want my friends back, and I want to be close to my sister like I used to be.
And instead of calling me and idiot, or telling me to leave my boyfriend, i'd appreciate helpful comments about what to do with those I love. Thanks.
And just today, my sister sent me a message, telling me that she didn't love me anymore.
That she would try to be friends with the 'new me'
She thinks i'm just an addict who doesn't do anything, but It's rare that I smoke or drink.
I cried, yes. But i don't know what to do. I don't even know if i should try to see her at this point.
But her and my stepdad are the only family I have.
Get the answers
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